Water bills and shaky knees: How to speak up for yourself

Water bills and shaky knees: How to speak up for yourself

Besties, have you ever found yourself in situations where you wished you could speak up, but your voice seemed to falter?

It's a common experience, and you're not alone. 

Bills, Bills, Bills

Being assertive when needed is something I've had to work HARD on, and even now sometimes I find speaking up a bit daunting.

Once, I randomly received a SKY HIGH water bill, and, when online chat proved unhelpful, I had to actually (gulp) PICK UP THE PHONE and call them. Yep, assertiveness AND a phone call all in one!

Despite my fear, I calmly explained the situation, expecting resistance.

To my surprise, the representative listened attentively and discovered a billing error, and fixed it there and then.

Relieved and empowered, I learned that speaking up when necessary is super important - if I hadn't, I'd be paying off that bill even now!

One step at a time

Here are some steps you can take if you feel on shaky ground when it comes to asserting yourself.

  1. Embrace Your Inner Confidence: I want to start by acknowledging the strength and courage you already have -  yes, really! Even when you may feel unsure or hesitant, remember that you DO possess a quiet resilience that can guide you through challenging moments. 

  2. Self-Awareness is key: Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and needs. By cultivating self-awareness, you can gain a deeper understanding of what truly matters to you and where your boundaries lie. 

  3. Me, Myself and I: Using "I" statements is a powerful way of expressing your thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of saying, "You're always interrupting me," you could say, "I feel frustrated when I'm interrupted."

  4. Embrace Vulnerability: Being assertive requires a willingness to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and others. Allow yourself to embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. When you speak with sincerity and honesty, your words carry greater weight and resonance.

  5. Setting Boundaries IS Self-Care: Setting boundaries is an act of self-care and self-respect. Approach boundary-setting with kindness and clarity, communicating your needs clearly. Remember that it's more than okay to say no and prioritise your well-being.

  6. Celebrate, You Did It!: Finally, celebrate your progress along the way. Every step you take towards assertiveness – no matter how small – is a victory worth celebrating. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge the courage it takes to speak up and make yourself heard.

You can do it - shaky knees and all!

As you journey towards assertiveness, remember that it's okay to take things one step at a time.

Remember, your voice IS important, and it deserves to be heard.

Speaking up with a trembling voice and shaky knees is still speaking up - and if you're scared and do it anyway, in my eyes you're a superhero!

1 comment

  • Jenguin

    I have trouble doing it in the moment when something goes awry. It’s like I don’t completely comprehend what’s happening & can take me a day to process what took place. Then I wonder if it’s too late to still say something.
    Sugar and Sloth replied:
    Oh I know just what you mean, lovely! <3 I promise you it’s never too late to say something – being kind and polite but still firm can help you stand up for yourself while still being nice. :) – Lewis

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