Water bills and shaky knees: How to speak up for yourself
Besties, have you ever found yourself in situations where you wished you could speak up, but your voice seemed to falter?
It's a common experience, and you're not alone.
Bills, Bills, Bills
Being assertive when needed is something I've had to work HARD on, and even now sometimes I find speaking up a bit daunting.
Once, I randomly received a SKY HIGH water bill, and, when online chat proved unhelpful, I had to actually (gulp) PICK UP THE PHONE and call them. Yep, assertiveness AND a phone call all in one!
Despite my fear, I calmly explained the situation, expecting resistance.
To my surprise, the representative listened attentively and discovered a billing error, and fixed it there and then.
Relieved and empowered, I learned that speaking up when necessary is super important - if I hadn't, I'd be paying off that bill even now!
One step at a time
Here are some steps you can take if you feel on shaky ground when it comes to asserting yourself.
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Embrace Your Inner Confidence: I want to start by acknowledging the strength and courage you already have - yes, really! Even when you may feel unsure or hesitant, remember that you DO possess a quiet resilience that can guide you through challenging moments.
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Self-Awareness is key: Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and needs. By cultivating self-awareness, you can gain a deeper understanding of what truly matters to you and where your boundaries lie.
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Me, Myself and I: Using "I" statements is a powerful way of expressing your thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of saying, "You're always interrupting me," you could say, "I feel frustrated when I'm interrupted."
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Embrace Vulnerability: Being assertive requires a willingness to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and others. Allow yourself to embrace vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. When you speak with sincerity and honesty, your words carry greater weight and resonance.
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Setting Boundaries IS Self-Care: Setting boundaries is an act of self-care and self-respect. Approach boundary-setting with kindness and clarity, communicating your needs clearly. Remember that it's more than okay to say no and prioritise your well-being.
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Celebrate, You Did It!: Finally, celebrate your progress along the way. Every step you take towards assertiveness – no matter how small – is a victory worth celebrating. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge the courage it takes to speak up and make yourself heard.
You can do it - shaky knees and all!
As you journey towards assertiveness, remember that it's okay to take things one step at a time.
Remember, your voice IS important, and it deserves to be heard.
Speaking up with a trembling voice and shaky knees is still speaking up - and if you're scared and do it anyway, in my eyes you're a superhero!
I have trouble doing it in the moment when something goes awry. It’s like I don’t completely comprehend what’s happening & can take me a day to process what took place. Then I wonder if it’s too late to still say something.
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Sugar and Sloth replied:
Oh I know just what you mean, lovely! <3 I promise you it’s never too late to say something – being kind and polite but still firm can help you stand up for yourself while still being nice. :) – Lewis
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